Monday, September 1, 2008
Sometimes we have to walk this road alone
So, I've been having a pity party for myself. I mean I had balloons and those annoying little squealing things you blow into and everything. A full out pity party. I've been pretty lonely lately, and I believe I have good reason to be feeling that way. Bobby's schedule has been crappy, and he hasnt been around much lately. Even today, its a holiday, and I'm here alone, trying to motivate myself to clean the house and get something done. This being alone so much is very different for me. For 6 years I have had him by my side, doing things with me and going places with me. Now I have to adjust to the fact that I will go to most things alone. Yeah, I know, I'm making it sound like we're going through a divorce or something, but sometimes it feels lonely like a divorce. I havent been to church in months because I hate going alone. SO yesterday, I did it. I got up and went to church. (Thank you to my BFF for calling and inviting me) After service, I saw Pastor Nicole. She loved on me and told me how much she loved me and told me I know better than to not be in church. She introduced me to several people around me and this is what one woman said "Honey, sometimes we have to walk this road alone". I've been thinking about those words ever since I heard them. Do I have to walk this road alone? I know I am not alone, I know I have a great Christian husband behind me 100% of the time, but he just cant be there with me for everything right now. He tries his best to give himself emotionally to me every single day, but some days there is nothing left to give. So I guess that's my question to ponder for now...as a married woman, to a man who lives a crazy schedule right now, am I forced to walk this road alone, or is someone traveling with me, its just I am the only one who ever gets to see him?
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2 comments:
your answer is no! you never have to walk any road alone. you always have God! He's with you all the time. It took several months of Matt being in school and me having my own little pitty party before i actually started utilizing God, and realizing that while Matt was in school learning, i was at home...learning as well. there is no doubt there is a lesson for you in all of this. And sometimes when you do get down. just sit and look at the facts. it's true you do have a wonderful loving christian husband behind you. and you do have God that's with you both all of the time! I know it's hard and your alone a lot. but you don't have to feel lonely friend!!
Awe, Jacque. I know these times are hard for you and you will be blessed for it. Just try to stay strong and remember God is always there and you not alone. The time will pass so quickly and you and Bobby will be looking back seeing just how far you have come in your life. You both will be blessed!
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