Miracles

I believe in miracles.

For my sister, who is looking for a new job.
For my other sister, who is on a mission to lose weight.
For my parents ministry, to receive the support they need to travel around the world preaching.
For a friend, who’s marriage is struggling.
For another friend, who needs a breakthrough in her finances.
For one more friend, who longs to hold a baby of her own.

I believe in miracles…but not when the miracle is for me. My daily desire is to not have to leave my baby every morning to go to work. Most days, I feel like I handle it pretty well. Other days, I feel like I’m practically having to unglue my feet from the floor in order to get them out the door.

I felt jealousy start to set in a couple weeks ago when a friend, whose baby is just 3 weeks younger than Bax, told me they were going to start trying for another. My emotions quickly went from jealousy to thinking she might be totally crazy, and in reality, I think I changed my mindset quickly so I wouldn’t feel the sting of jealousy for too long.

I want more babies. I want to give birth over and over again…I want to wake in the night to nurse a crying baby…watch their first smile, first steps, first tooth come in…I want to watch them grow into little men and women and teach them how to be a good friend, how to love God, how to be successful. I want to be the mom who plans play dates and a mom who drops her kids off at the bus stop and has an afternoon snack waiting on the kitchen counter when they come home. I want to meet friends for coffee while the kids are at school and I want to be home with my child on a day when he doesn’t feel well and not dread the tone in my bosses voice when I tell him I can’t come in. I want my husband to be a pilot who flies all over the world and has several days off at the end of the month because he’s reached his maximum amount of air time. I want him to love his job and smile when he leaves each day for work. I want to take vacations to the Caribbean and feel the sand in my toes. I want my bills to be paid and there to be money left over.

That is a lot of wants!! The problem is, my husband doesn’t want more kids, we cant afford a vacation, I have a job that requires me to be there 5 days a week, I have a husband who’s dream career came to an abrupt halt, and when reading the above paragraph all I can say is…it would require a miracle. The problem is, I don’t believe miracles happen to me. I believe every situation any of my friends or family are in, can be changed in the blink of an eye, because that’s just the way God works. Why cant I believe it for myself then? So when my friend told me they were trying again, and I told her it would pretty much take a miracle for us to ever try for another, her response?? “Well then, it’s a very good thing miracles are no problem at all for Him!” I’m working towards that kind of faith. To believe that He would be that good to ME, not just those around me.

Matthew 15:18 “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted!”