Last night, I got frustrated. After picking Bax up from the sitter, making dinner, nursing Bax, eating dinner, cleaning up dinner, making a pot of soup for bax to eat this week for lunches, washing bottles, prepping meals for today, ahhh, its finally time to put Bax to bed. An hour and a half later, he finally fell asleep. I quietly get up from the bed, scoop him up and take him to his crib. I softly lay him down, and instantly he’s awake again. I stomp out into the living room where is Bobby is and scream “I never get a flipping break!!!!!!!!!!”. Of course he’s innocently watching football and has no idea why I’m freaking out like I am. I finally gave in and just laid in the bed with Bax and fell asleep shortly after he did. This morning I was trying to get his bag packed in the kitchen and he was on my feet the entire time, whining and reaching for me to pick him up.
Just now, I was getting caught up on my blog reading. One of the blogs I read is of the parents of a boy who just died of cancer. He was 9 months old when he passed. Their baby is sleeping forever. The mother writes about how she misses him so badly, and wishes he was still snuggled into that perfect place where he fit on her chest. The dad writes how he now has spare time, yet wants none of it and wishes he wasn’t trying to find some meaningless hobby to fill it with.
Well hello perspective, there you are. I got so caught up last night in feeling like I had to fight for my break, like poor ol pitiful me has been doing everything and all I want is a cup of tea and my kindle while my baby sleeps. Its so easy to get caught up in everyday life and the frustrations and exhaustion that it sometimes brings. There are parents who wish they were in my shoes. Who would give anything to snuggle their baby even if it meant they missed out on “their” time.
So tonight, I’ll soak up the slobber kisses, I won’t complain when Bax wants to play with my ear lobe while he falls asleep, and if he wants to be held while I’m trying to get things done…well maybe those things can wait just a few minutes longer. Perspective. It’s exactly what I needed today.
2 comments:
ahhhh..... it totally freaks me out how sometimes your post, your emails, your thoughts will literally transport me to a time one year ago. I remember in September last year, Jake was REALLY needy. After work every day he was just fussy and felt like he had to be on my hip all the time. That is when we actually started using the sling, we never did until he was that big! lol. But anywho, I remember that is when I started reading Kelle Hampton's blog and was reminded so often how blessed I was to have a perfectly healthy little boy who just wanted my attention and was away from me ALL day. So we started these nightly walks during peak of cranky time. I would walk with him on my hip cuddled up to me.... and now only one year later with still a toddler I get tears thinking how badly I wish tonight I could go home and just walk the neighborhood with him slung to my hip.... this time will pass and it will pass so quickly. Keep that wonderful perspective you gained, b/c it will get you through appreciative! You still get frustrated, have freak out moments, cry, yell, and go a lil crazy... but thats ok. As long as your mommy heart goes back to this!
This is exactly what I needed to hear, Jacque! I flew solo with both kids last night and now the boys are camping tonight, so I've been sitting here having a big old pity party this afternoon, being all "woe is me, I can't make any real plans or have any fun because I have the baby here". I just put her down for her nap, decided to catch up on my blog reading, and BAM! There you are, putting it all into perspective for me. I remember the days of yearning for this, though in a different way. How easily I forget though. Thanks so much, friend! I know you didn't write it for me, but it sure feels like it. :)
Post a Comment