In the few days leading up to Baxton's birth, I was putting weight on pretty quickly and my blood pressure was rising. I was just a week from my due date when I went to see Dr. B. I had left work to go see him because I had almost fainted several times that morning. After my exam, Dr. B thought it would be best to go ahead and induce me as my blood pressure wasnt going down and things didnt seem to be progressing on thier own. I was terrified! I had pretty much been terrified of giving birth from, well, the moment I found out I was prego. But my anxiety had just grown over the last month or so and now, knowing the time had come, I was a mess. I went back to work to finish things up and get them ready for me to be out for 8 weeks. My mom met me at home after work and helped me get the house cleaned up and my bags packed. We went to the hospital at 8 that night to get things started.
They started me on cervadil around 9 that night and said I'd just have to let that stay in for 12 hours and then we'd see how things went. I didnt sleep well that night. I wasnt having any contractions, but they had the heart monitor turned up so I could hear Baxton's heart beating quite well...along with his daddy snoring on the other side of me. The next morning they decided to start the pitocin.
Things were moving along and going pretty well. Not moving super quick but quick enough. Dr. B and Jill came in around 3 to visit (I thought that was so sweet of them to come check on me) and Dr. B broke my water. After that, my contractions kicked in hard core. I'm pretty sure I was only dilated to a 3 at this point but they asked me if I had planned to get the epidural and how long I wanted to wait. I said BRING. IT. ON. If I was going to get it anyway, why waste time?!
I'm not sure how quickly things moved after that, but I do remember it being around 7 or so and I could tell my contractions were pretty strong. The epidural was numbing them but I could still feel the pressure. At one point, the nurse must have decided that my blood pressure was too high and had been for some time, so she called the doc and they decided to start me on magnesium sulfate. I knew this drug was major when I had to sign a waiver before she would administer it. It wasnt but just minutes after she started it in my IV that my blood pressure must have dropped drastically and I started throwing up. Thank God for my sweet momma who held my hair back and wiped my face with a wash cloth. (Those are things hubbies just dont think about)Around this time I started to think to myself "This isnt going to end the way I had hoped". I was just sure that with my bp being as it was, they would decide to do a c-section. Thank God for Dr. B who let me wait it out instead of doing something drastic so quickly.
I believe it was around 11pm that night when they checked me and said that I was finally at a 10. It was time to start pushing. I remember them trying to put my legs in the stirrups and I was so numb I could hardly lift them. They were having trouble getting them positioned right and I just kept saying "I cant feel them anyway!" They told me we were going to do a few practice pushes and then we'll call the doc. I pushed one time, obviously not the proper way, because my face turned all purple lol. (Bobby later told me this was when he thought I'd end up with a c-section.) They reinstructed me on how to push correctly. I gave it one good shot, and they said "Someone call the doctor!" I obviously am a good pusher :) I waited for Dr. B to get there which seemed like an eternity! He finally made his entrance about 20 minutes later, and with about 5 pushes, Baxton made his grand appearance.
Oh the love I felt in my heart that very moment. I cannot even explain it to you. I remember them laying him on my chest and me just looking at Bobby with tears in my eyes. We made him....we grew him...and now he is ours to hold.
I had very specific plans for how things were going to go after Baxton's birth. I wanted us to have family time before everyone else came in, and then to bring them in groups so things werent too overwhelming. Well that all got thrown out the window! I told Bobby to do whatever he wanted. We did get a few minutes with him by ourselves and then he went and brought people in to meet him. I didnt let anyone else hold him though :) I had waited so long for him and didnt want anyone to take him from my arms. We had lots of family there who were so excited to meet Bax, and they were all so understanding of me and waited until the next day to hold him.
I tried nursing him that night, but it had been such a long night. I was tired, Bax was tired, and the stress of trying to get him to latch on was making things hard. I finally agreed to giving him a bottle and then went to sleep. I must have been really tired because Bobby said they asked me if I wanted to see him get his first bath and I said no! I dont even remember that. I slept about 2 hours and woke up with all the energy in the world. My first full day with my baby was about to begin and I was excited!
I remember that day, Bobby had gone home to take a shower, and at the time we had no visitors. I kept looking at Baxton and wasnt even sure what to do with him! He felt like such a stranger to me. My how that has changed! The connection we have now is beyond words.
Baxton, you light up my life. My heart nearly explodes with love for you every time I look into your eyes. You make me complete. Your dad and I are so in love with you. From the moment they first laid your sweet little body on my chest, my love for you has only grown. We are so blessed to be your parents.
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