Day 1 - Lesson Learned

It's been one of those days, and I was actually quite mad about it because I wanted to end this day with a super thankful heart and instead I was frustrated and mad. So of course God would use this day to teach me a lesson, right?

Bax and I got home from work/daycare and he was being super clingy. I've learned on days like that to nix cooking dinner, give him some extra attention and go with the flow.

***intermission....baby needed snuggles....its now the following morning and I've come to finish this post***

So anyway, I've learned to go with the flow and give him the extra attention he needs sometimes. So he decides he wants to blow bubbles. We blow bubbles alot. Its a distraction when we're crabby and brings smiles to everyone. But somehow, last night, Bax gets a hold of a bottle of bath bubbles and is just convinced he wants me to blow those as bubbles. He keeps coming up to me "bubbles, bubbles". I'm holding a real bottle of bubbles in my hand, and at one point I'm even in the other room blowing them and calling for him as he throws a fit in the kitchen because he is convinced he wants me to blow the bath bubbles. I can see his confusion...I mean they are both bubbles and look an awful lot alike, but baby boy, you can blow bath bubbles in a wand!

And suddenly, its hits me. This has only happened to me a handful of times since he was born, but its like all the sudden I can see where God is going with this, and before I know it I'm standing there in tears watching him throw a toddler fit because he is just sure that what he is hanging onto is what he wants. Okay, I get it God!

I've got alot of dreams I'm hanging onto, nearly throwing a fit because I. WANT. THEM. And I want them now!!!! Like right now!! I dont understand why God wont just work a few things out for our good. Several times I have said okay, I'm letting them go, and yet I'm still holding on. So I'm standing there watching Bax throw a fit, and all I can hear in my head is "sometimes you act like that". Ouch!

So today (yesterday), I am thankful for God speaking to me through my little man. A lesson learned through his fit throwing. I gotta let it go. Maybe what I am holding onto SO TIGHT isnt really want I want at all. Maybe He is holding something better. Maybe I'm holding onto the wrong thing and dont even realize it. Maybe I'm throwing a fit over something I dont really even want. Thank you God for showing me through Bax.