Oh November

What a month it has been! I think its safe to say that November has been the hardest month Baxton and I have had since he was a newborn. The month started with taking the bink away, which at the time I thought went quite smoothly, but things went downhill from there. Baxton has been sick twice and I’ve been sick twice and to say the month has been hard would be an understatement. I refuse to say the twos are “terrible” because even in the rough times, life with Baxton is great, but boy has it been a difficult month. I cant blame it all on Baxton. I have to take most of the blame because my patience has been short and I’m trying to learn to deal with stress in ways I’ve never had to before. But we are learning together. I’m learning that a cup of tea while watching my boy play in the bath can be a cure-all on a rough night. That sometimes you just have to let the tears fall in the shower and leave them in the shower drain when you step out. I’m learning that for our family, bed sharing isnt going to work. Which unfortunately means we probably have a few more rough nights ahead of us because little boy thinks when you’re sick, you sleep with mom and dad, and when you’re done being sick, you still sleep with mom and dad. And to top the month off, Baxton started a new daycare this week but I am proud to say, he did excellent on his first day there. I really think he’s going to love it there.

Its funny, this feeling of being so wanted and needed, yet feeling like sometimes you cant even catch your breath because there’s a bubba hanging on your leg. I mean don’t we all grow up wanting to be loved, needed, and wanted? And in return, I love, need, and want Baxton more than I can explain. He lights up my world and brings smiles to me every day. I’m not really making any sense here, and that’s okay, because I’m just trying to get my feelings out on paper. Its time to move forward. December is a big month and we have a lot to celebrate! Little man is turning two. TWO. How can he already be two? We have birthdays to celebrate and Christmas to celebrate and way too much fun stuff to be stuck in a rut of complaining and crying and throwing pity parties for ourselves every step of the way.

This week I’ve finally been able to catch my breath once or twice. It started in front of the Christmas tree while Bax and Daddy were taking a bath. I literally sat there and cried my eyes out, remembering the year I found out I was pregnant. At first I thought I was pregnant with Bax when I sat in front of that tree, but then I remembered I was actually pregnant with Reese. I sat there and thanked God for the gift He had given me after many months of prayer. Today, I am just as thankful. For my baby in heaven and my baby here on earth. Funny how November is the month of “thankfulness” yet I let my struggles get way more attention than my thanks. Last night, again during bathtime, I found a moment to gather my thoughts, and leave them where I sat.


I’m determined to make December a much better month. Even if things go wrong, I’m going to take time to celebrate the joys in my life. To celebrate the birth of my boy and the birth of Jesus. I am not going to let circumstance dictate my mood. Here's to December being the best month of the year!