I want to blog, I really do, but the words just aren't coming. I have been reading other people's blogs, and seeing what they are dealing with or revelations they are seeing, and I wish I could write out what has been going on with me, but I cant seem to find the time, and when the time comes, I can't find the words. I wish I could tell you what's in my heart. I wish I could tell you about my life. Sometimes, I guess being quiet is the best way to be. Its not like me to be quiet. I want to tell you everything.

I want to tell you about my struggles. I want to tell you about the man I met at Gordman's last week whose father had just died, the man that I cant seem to forget ever since that day. I want to tell you what he said and how badly he hurt and how my mom and I prayed and wept with him in the shoe aisle of that store. But the words arent flowing out like they should.

I want to tell you what my husband said the other night that almost made me fall out of my chair. How I have never known how he felt about God's blessing to those whose tithe, and how last week he said he knows we are taken care of because we're tithers. But the words, they just arent coming.

I want to tell you about my birthday, my best birthday yet, and how blessed I am with the most amazing friends and family.

I want to tell you how sometimes I feel like I've been put through the ringer when it comes to friendship, but now I am finally in a place where I know my friendships are true and real and deep and ordained by God.

I want to tell you how God has changed my heart towards Christmas, because even in trying to be right, I was wrong by demanding lights be on the outside of our house and the house be maxed out inside with decorations. I want to tell you how I am learning the real meaning of Christmas through my husband who can sometimes be considered a Scrooge.

I want to tell you all about every one of these things. And I guess in not telling you, I have just given you a glimpse, which for now is all I can. Hopefully one day the words come back, and I can share my heart openly again. For now, I just keep reading....