The Other Side

I was looking at one of Baxton's ultrasound pictures the other day, and I was telling Bobby how crazy it is that the boy I know hold and kiss every day, is the same boy in that picture. I have to admit, I was a spaz in the months leading up to my delivery. I was scared of the unknown. 2010 was a hard year in many ways. It went nothing like planned, and yet, here we are, we made it. I told Bobby it's so crazy to be on the other side and be done with delivery and to hold my baby every day and be able to look back and say "Well, it wasnt too bad after all!".

While I was telling him this, I felt a soft whisper in my spirit "I always bring you through to the other side". Next week, chaos begins for Bobby and I. He will be working full time, working on getting a business started with my dad, going to school 2 nights a week plus working 2 or 3 nights a week and weekends, and I will be going back to work. I am scared. I have so enjoyed my time off with Bax and the thought of going back to work is enough to make me cry. I NEED God to bring me through to the other side. I know, in time, things will slow down, I'll hopefully be able to stay home with my baby, Bobby will be able to have more time at home, and I'll be able to look back and say "Well, it wasnt too bad after all!". This is only for a season.

God has been speaking to me through my baby. I do everything for him. He wants for nothing. I provide for him, I love on him, I care for him, I feed him, I clothe him, I wash him clean when he is dirty. He has not a care in the world! Isnt this the way we should be with Him? Trusting that when we are hungry, He'll feed us. When we are dirty, He'll wash us clean. When we are sad, He'll comfort us. Shouldnt we have not a care in the world, because we know He will provide all of our needs? Yet I'm sitting here looking at the future and I'm scared, and crying, and upset. I refuse to miss out on the pleasures of today because I am worried of what's to come. He's got it all in control. He's got my back!

And, to lighten this post up just a bit....How can any mother be stressed when she's looking at this sweet smile day after day. He seriously is the joy in my life. Bobby and Baxton are ALL I need in this world. I am SOOOOOOO blessed. Seriously.