Glory Baby

The memory of you, my little love, will never go away. For 12 weeks I carried you, loved you, dreamt of you, and imagined what your face would look like. Yet today, this is the only picture I have of you. I can see your arms, and imagine what your chubby little fingers would have looked like wrapped around mine. I miss you everyday. My heart aches when I think about the loss of you.

You are in Heaven now, with the only Person who could ever take better care of you than your mommy and daddy. You are but a memory that we carry with us throughout the day. A baby we never got to hold, a smile we never got to see, a love we never got to experience face to face.

My body has healed, and returned to normal. The bruise on my hand that was a constant reminder of that horrible day is now gone. I've packed away all sentimental items, and I only allow myself to bring them out on occasion.

The pain will never go away. I'm not sure my heart will ever completly heal. BUT, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've spent hours reading old blogs, reminding myself of the promises God gave to me. I've told myself over and over again "He holds the blueprints to my life". At times I have felt so forgotten, so angry, so invisible. At times the pain was almost too much to bare.

But then I remember, the rainbow, the dream, the words He spoke to me. I am not forgotten, God knows my name. My faith has been shaken, but it has not been lost. I know who I am, a child of God. My foundation is strong, and my heart is starting to feel again. It was numb for so long from the heartbreak. Its starting to feel alive again, its starting to dream again.

I will never forget you Reese. My first child, my first tan love. I will see you in Heaven. I will hold you, and kiss you, and I will know you are mine. For now, I entrust you to the hands of the Lord. I love you.

One of my new favorite songs....expressing exactly how my heart feels.....

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..

You were growing, what happened dear?

You disappeared on us baby…baby..

Heaven will hold you before we do

Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…

Until we’re home with you…
Miss you everyday

Miss you in every way

But we know there’s a day when we will hold you

We will hold you

You’ll kiss our tears away

When we’re home to stay

Can’t wait for the day when we will see you

We will see you

But baby let sweet Jesus hold you‘till mom and dad can hold you…

You’ll just have heaven before we do

You’ll just have heaven before we do
Sweet little babies, it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting

We are hurting

But there is healing

And we know we’re stronger people through the growing

And in knowing-

That all things work together for our good

And God works His purposes just like He said He would…

Just like He said He would…
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies and what they must sound like

But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home

And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…