Letter to myself

Dear Self -

I hope by now you've learned your lesson, that holding onto things and trying to accomplish them yourself is never the easy way. I thought you would have learned that day all the way back in 2002. The day you cried and told God you give it to him. Remember, just 6 short months later the love of your life walked into your life? You didnt see it then. Oh yes, you acknowledged it, and you even thanked Him for the blessing you saw taking place, but you still didnt quite get it.

Then, I would have thought you'd see it when He worked everything out perfectfy for your husband to start school, to fulfill his dream. And even more when God gave you that house you had been praying and hoping for and He proved to you once again that letting go, and giving it to Him, is the only way its ever going to work.

But, you didnt learn. Your heart wanted a baby, and what did you do? Of course you spent months holding onto it, hoping for it, wondering why you werent getting what you wanted. You could have saved yourself so much pain and heartache if you had just set it at His feet when you knew you should have.

Go ahead, read that blog below, the one you wrote when you finally gave it to Him. What's the date on that blog? November 6th. Let me remind you that just 9 short days later, He was implanting that little baby in your belly. You didnt even know a miracle was about to happen that day as you finally, once and for all, set it at His feet.

How many times does He have to prove to you? He is GOD! The Alpha and Omega. He is the miracle worker, the finance giver, the hope holder. Your prayers do not fall on deaf ears and your tears are being held in the palm of His hand. You are the apple of His eye. He desires to give you everything you have ever hoped for and more. Let it go, let God. See how good He can be to you when you lay everything at His feet? Save yourself the heartache next time. Now that you're going to be a mommy, there are going to be so many chances to hold onto things that you need to entrust to Him. The care of your child, the health of your child. It is all in His hands. He sees you, even as you walk around in a daze from feeling extremely tired, even as your head hangs over the toilet because you are sick. Those are signs that this tiny miracle is growing inside of you. He hasnt forgotten you. In fact, I'm pretty sure you are one of His favorites. Please remember that. He loves you.

Love,
Yourself